Well just like everyone said it would, the day came and went, and we’ve already been married for two weeks. And just like everyone said it would be, the day was a complete blur. That being said, it was still probably the best, most joyful day of my life…and literally NOTHING went wrong! All of the little fears I had about the day (tripping down the aisle, tripping up the steps, not being able to remember the vows, forgetting my name, forgetting John’s name, etc.) totally disappeared and everything was just seamless and beautiful. I did realize once we left that I had accidentally forgotten to toss the bouquet to all of the single gals. In the words of our governor, “Oops.” But, if the girls there were anything like me, I’m sure they weren’t too heartbroken about it.
I have to be honest, though…the day before the wedding, I was not doing so well. It started out wonderfully…mani/pedi appointments with my bridesmaids and flower girl, followed by a very sweet luncheon with them, my sister-in-law, and my mom. That whole morning, I would say I was mildly anxious about everything…I was enjoying myself, but definitely starting to feel the “bride pressure.” But once we started to get ready for the rehearsal, the anxiety really started to get to me. There I was, surrounded by all of my loved ones who were all having a wonderful time, and I was LOSING IT on the inside. I literally couldn’t stand it when my dear sweet father and husband-to-be were cracking jokes during the rehearsal. Couldn’t they see that I wasn’t laughing? Couldn’t they see that I wasn’t doing so well? Couldn’t they see that I was ready to get down to business so nothing went wrong the next day?? I tried giving them both The Glare whenever I would catch their eyes. One thing I have learned about men in two weeks is that even though you may be shooting flames and lasers out of your eyeballs, they do not, and cannot, pick up on The Glare.
After the rehearsal, we all went home for the night, and I thankfully fell asleep without a problem. I set my alarm for 6am, but woke up around 5am with my heart racing and my stomach in knots. All I could think about was walking down the aisle with 150 pairs of eyes looking at me. Although I’m not as debilitatingly shy as I once was, that much attention is definitely not my cup of tea. I felt awful. I prayed that God would help me find peace so I could enjoy one of the most important days of my life.
After a couple minutes of panic, I noticed that my mom had slipped a card underneath my door. I opened it and read the simple, sweet message that she had written. At that moment, I also heard my dad walk into the kitchen and start making coffee. As I held my mom’s card and listened to my dad, I became so aware, and so thankful, that I had them both with me on my wedding day. I started to think about everyone else that would be at the ceremony…my brother and sister-in-law, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends…and I was so overwhelmed with gratitude that they would all be with us that day. Suddenly, my fears disappeared and were replaced with the deepest feelings of thankfulness that I’ve felt in my entire life.
So often in life, I let myself get so caught up in all of my unimportant anxieties that I take for granted the precious time that I have with my loved ones. How very blessed I was that on the morning of my wedding day the Lord helped me to see this. With the understanding that He granted, our wedding day was truly joyous to me, just as it should have been.
Since I’m a human being and imperfect by nature, there will be times, I’m sure, when this realization goes out the window. I will get caught up in all of the little details of life and will need to be reminded to step back and be thankful for the time I have with my loved ones. I hope that this post will be a reminder to my friends who are reading, and that in turn, you will bring me back down to earth when I myself need that reminder yet again!